Bargain Hunting: Maternity Clothes

     So, one of my joys in life is saving money. I get a thrill when I can get my bill down to half or more. My husband constantly tells me that I don't need to shop the clearance racks or at thrift stores, yet I can't justify paying full price unless absolutely necessary for quality purposes. I have a future home I'd like to own rather than renting, student loans and a car loan to pay off. I don't have room to pay full price, so to me, it's worth a little extra effort to try to find the best deals and save as much as possible to go towards my family and I's future rather than material things.

     We don't exactly have it in our budget now to get me a whole new maternity wardrobe, but as I am on the edge of 3 months and baby belly is starting to protrude, I am needing some new comfy yet stylish wardrobe staples so I don't have to resort to wearing a sack equivalent. With a little clearance shopping and research, I got a great deal and I'm going to share my tips for anyone needing to save some money.

     First, for my recent maternity clothes purchase, I went to OldNavy.com. I don't want frumpy stuff and they typically have good deals. I shopped the clearance and sales, and the only thing I got that wasn't on sale was my maternity jeans. Those are worth the investment, or so I've been told. I wound up getting 11 items for what amounted to $140. I got free shipping since I spent over $125. Then, I went to my favorite online tool, retailmenot.com and finally got a code that worked, that sent me to Old Navy.com where I only had to sign up with my email to receive a code for 20% off.  That saved me $21.60 and brought my total, including tax, to $127. My total savings was $107, since nearly all items were on sale. That is a successful shopping event to me. I saved nearly 50% and got everything I need for my maternity staples. Jeans, lounge pants, camis, tanks, shoes, swimsuit, top, and a dress, and even got my son a pair of flip flops.

     The ultimate thrill is that they offer free returns, so I don't have to fret if anything doesn't fit me, I would get a full refund, and still get all of my savings. SWEET!

     So, before shopping online, I highly recommend checking retailmenot.com to look for special codes or deals at the online store you are buying from. Shop clearances and sales, take advantage of free shipping when you can, and add savings codes and promotions on top of that to save more money. Here is the link to the page on OldNavy.com for the 20% code after singing up with your email: https://secure-oldnavy.gap.com/profile/info.do?cid=52346&src=Site_TextFooter&mlink=5151,3446303,9&clink=3446303&tid=onaff2210202&ap=2&siteID=onafcid10455642&cvosrc=affiliate.cj.2210202#close
Also, I find I can get better deals when I shop online. Kohls also has some great deals and I always walk away saving about 50%, which equals a lot of loot!

     Now, that $107 can go towards our future home savings and hopefully I can share my tips with others who like bargains or need them as much as I do.



     Happy Hunting!

                ~ Crystal

~ A Perfect Design ~

     The past month has been a blur among nausea and fatigue. Just when I feel those symptoms are lessening, I get a really bad cold that knocks me off my feet again. I am close to my second trimester and hoping I will get back to semi-normal and get to exercise more and get more accomplished in my day. I find it very difficult to just sit still and do nothing. If I'm not doing something, I feel I am wasting my time, and that is not acceptable to me...especially when there is always so much to do. Homeschooling my son properly takes up a bulk of the day, and then I have my own school work on top of it. Thankfully I chose only 2 classes this time and 1 for the remainder of the Fall semester. Then there is a house to clean, food to throw together, random tasks to tackle, books to write, and household projects that need to get done, as well as making room for baby.

     I share that to say that in the past month, I have learned that there is a perfect design to pregnancy. I was a frantic overachiever before this pregnancy that never took much time to take care of myself. Nearly seven years as a single mom will do that; ultimate non-stop survival mode. Though I have been married for just close to 10 months now, I still struggled with stopping to breathe and take care of myself, and feeling guilty if I wasn't always focused on productivity.

     With this pregnancy, and being so sick day-in-day-out, I find myself getting excited when I can vacuum the house, or get all the laundry done in one day, or cook a nice meal. All things that I pressured myself to do all day every day never giving myself a break and forcing upon myself unrealistic expectations that I never could quite meet. Now, I am realizing that if I only make one really nice meal a week, and have leftovers or freezer meals the rest of the time, that is okay, and kind of makes that one really nice meal even nicer. I even got so excited the other day when I was able to go to the library, and the bank, and the store, and didn't get sick or feel like I was going to pass out. The little things I used to take for granted I no longer do. They are suddenly big things that lead to a sense of great accomplishment, and I am forced to take care of myself, the biggest thing I have been neglecting for a long time.

     I may not get all my son's homeschooling done in one day, and that's ok. He is still learning, and that is the beauty of homeschool; flexibility. I have thrown away my schedule, and the best I can hope for is to get a little of the most important things done. That's the biggest thing I've learned in this sudden upheaval of my life, what is really important. It's not crossing all the things off my To-Do list, but making every moment count. The precious moments of snuggling with my son and having him read to me are no longer rushed  and squeezed between all of my tasks. There is a beauty to this pregnancy. It makes me stop and slow down, really seeing again all of the blessings in my life that I started to take for granted and get blind to.

     Amid getting sick and having to rest either in bed or sitting for the bulk of my day and feeling like I have a non-stop flu sometimes, I am grateful for this time; not only that in the end I will be rewarded with something so precious, but that I am learning to take care of me and focus only on what really matters, letting go of the guilt in the process. I hope I can share these lessons and that you, whoever you are that may be reading this, will learn to take the time in each day for what REALLY matters, and that some big life change doesn't have to force you to do so.

     Make every moment count, but only on what really matters.
     Don't overlook the beauty and blessings that are already in your life.



Until next time,

   ~  Crystal

Convictions and So-Called Freedom

     While lying on my bed suffering from pregnancy symptoms, an incident from a few days ago that upset me kept going around and around in my head, only reigniting those negative emotions. Something happened while in a group setting that was sprung on me and severely contrasted my convictions.


     Without going into detail, I found myself in a big dilemma of not wanting to be a part of anything that would compromise my convictions, yet also not wanting to create an awkward scene in this new setting where I would have to have a semi-long-term relationship. 


     My spirit and nearly everything within me wanted to jump up and flee. The longer I sat there, the worse it got, and I contemplated things over and over in my head. Each time I got the urge to jump up and run, another voice kept saying things like, "But what would they all think?" "They'll just think you're weird and a troublemaker," and things of the like.


     So what did I do? I sat there. Awkward and seriously uncomfortable, fidgeting and squirming like I had ants in my pants or something. I didn't watch the screen. I fidgeted in my bag. I kept my eyes anywhere other than the stuff on the screen that severely conflicted with my conscience and convictions. I hated it. But quick spur-of-the-moment situations like that do not go well with me. It seems I always choose wrong and feel guilty for being "weird."


     Upon reflection, I see I could have handled that so much better, because really, I did something horrible. It would be no different had I been a part of a group that committed a robbery, and I only stayed in the car, folding my hands, and making it obvious I didn't want to be there. I still stayed there and was a part of it. Therefore, I am guilty.


     That reflection brought me to tears because it then made me realize, if I couldn't even stand up for my convictions in something so "innocent" as this group setting was, then how in the world will I ever be able to stand up for the things that truly matter?! It shook me realizing I wouldn't. I am a coward. Still. My mind and heart may be set on the right things, but my body doesn't align.


     I have always been a pushover since I was little. Always just wanting to be liked and hating if I ever upset anyone. I thrived on peace. I don't like to be in the spotlight. I do not like attention on me. I like to blend in.


     Unfortunately, these days it seems that if you have a firm stance on anything, you are going to be rocking the boat if you don't go along with the crowd....and this is what it all comes down to:


     Will I hold strong to my beliefs and convictions even if I am all alone, persecuted, laughed at, and mocked? Or will I back down, stay silent, and be guilty by association by still being a part of what I know to not be right. Will I continue to blend in with the crowd? Or will I stay true to myself and my convictions and risk being in the spotlight I hate? Which is worse: being in the spotlight I hate for a noble reasons, or being a coward and being liked by the crowd? Which will I respect more? Which will I be okay with if my children follow in my footsteps?


     Looking at it like that, the answer is pretty simple. I will never be able to respect myself if I don't stand up for my convictions. Thus, I need a lot of help to get stronger in this area.


     I also have this crazy, perhaps Utopian, idea that we could live in a world that is respectful towards other people's convictions and doesn't try to bully them or force them in others ways to violate those convictions. In this instance, it would have been nice to be warned of what was coming in advance, yet I see a growing problem of a lack of sensitivity to others convictions.

     I believe that what once made America a great nation was the freedom of choice. There were ample opportunities here, a melting pot of people, a variety of cultural and ethnic influences, spiritual and other viewpoints, the variety and diversity, that made this place so great once.


     Yet very rapidly our freedom of choice is being stripped away, so that those with convictions are forced to conform or pay a steep price. There is no choice anymore, except for how we choose to get punished, by bowing down and losing our self-respect or facing fines, jail time, or worse.


     My Utopian idea is that whatever side of an issue someone is on, they would have respect and a right to their convictions. Vaccinate or no vaccinations, organic/vegan or standard American toxic diet, same-sex or traditional marriage, homeschool or public school, classical or modern music, etc., People should have the right to be able to hold to their convictions without being bullied or forced to violate those convictions... just my wild and crazy idea. There should be a respect on both sides of an issue without one forcing the other.


     In the situation I just faced, I could have handled it better by stepping out of the room and politely saying what was going on went against my convictions so I couldn't partake and it might be a good idea in the future if they warned people in advance in case of any such convictions. See, I don't have to go shouting and stomping my way around about how uncomfortable and violated I felt. I don't have to create a dramatic uproar, bring in news cameras, or sue. I could simple walk out and leave for good if need be, or better yet, let them know of my concern so maybe they will be more respectful and sensitive to that in the future. No arguing or bullying. It's really very simple.


     Standing up for a conviction does not mean bullying, shouting, protesting, bringing in the media circus, or crushing the one who offended me or made me uncomfortable. It means sticking to my convictions while maintain love and respect for the other person or people. It means hopefully finding a way to meet in the middle and resolve it like adults, another thing that is dying along with freedom of choice.


     If I get offended that someone won't make a cake I want, I can simply take my business elsewhere. If someone is convicted that my lifestyle choice is wrong and won't issue me a marriage license with my love, I can go to another county to file for it. If a restaurant serves only meat or GMO food with no other options, I can leave a suggestion and ask for healthier options or try another restaurant. If it offends your friend to eat pork, don't serve pork chops for dinner. Meet in the middle if at all possible. Both sides need to give as far as the respect goes. It's really a simple idea that for some reason seems so profound these days.


     Compassion, respect, courtesy. To force anyone to violate their convictions is wrong. Simple as that...in my wild and crazy opinion.