My All Natural Birth Story: It Is Possible Ladies

    
     It has been six months since my precious, noisy, daredevil little dude escaped from the safety of my womb into this crazy world. I figured it was time to share our story for those who may be interested or benefit from it.

     I knew before I was pregnant this time that if I ever did become pregnant again I would do whatever it took to have either a home birth or one at a birth center. I refused to step foot in a hospital again to birth my baby after the traumatic experience of my first birth, if I could at all help it. I will reserve that story for a separate blog post on hospital vs. birth centers.

     There is a severe lack of birth centers in my location, two to be exact. The first one I went to did not work out for reasons I will mention in another post and wound up closing mid-pregnancy. The second I was referred to and was my perfect match. They shared my beliefs about childbirth and was very holistic/nature minded. I was so impressed. They offered nutrition classes, breastfeeding, essential oils, cloth diapers, and labor prep classes also. Since I was so sick during my pregnancy and having to drive all the way to Naples was not something we could do at those times I wasn't able to attend the classes. I wish I would have. We did pay for a labor and delivery class that worked with both my spouse and I to offer suggestions for positions, pain-relief techniques, and basically to help prep my husband on how to coach me through. We got to get comfortable in one of the rooms so we had more of a feel of it in preparation for the big day.

     With my first birth, I chose a natural birth with midwives that was based out of the hospital. I only had a mild painkiller that they said was the equivalent to two margaritas. It took the edge off, but was still without epidural or any of those other meds. This time, it was completely natural. I believe that God perfectly designed a woman's body to not only grow, but birth children. There are so many things that happen without us knowing. Our bodies, and the babies bodies, all prep for birth at the perfect time, getting things just right. I believe when man tries to intercede and treat it as a procedure or abnormal thing (like the hospital/doctor mindset is) is when things go wrong and I have a suspicion is what leads to an increase of postpartum depression. In a hospital, a woman is hooked up to an IV, basic rights and control of her and her baby's body taken away, and being forced to be injected with things or treated in very clinical and unnatural (unhealthy) ways, giving birth in the unnatural position of lying on one's back that goes against gravity making it harder to give birth leading to more tearing and also slows down labor leading to an increase in C-sections... and I could go on an on with the faulty methods and procedures of hospital births.

     I will also state that every birth center and every birth story is completely different and unique, so one must use caution and that good-ole Mom-gut to make decisions that are life-altering as this.

     My experience with the birth center was phenomenal. It was so nice going into each appointment where they greeted me by name and they took the time to answer any and every question I had, going in detail and making sure I was satisfied. It was never rushed and they deliberately scheduled enough time at appointments for questions and concerns. They never rushed through or made me feel like just a number or a paycheck to them. I was a person, a mom, and a woman who valued the natural process of childbearing. I was not treated as an idiot who knew less about my body and what was best for me and my baby than what a textbook could tell them. I loved that I had a voice. Hospitals and doctors don't give you one, at least not in my experience.

     So, at 39 weeks and safe to have baby I ordered Clary Sage essential oil. Clary Sage is something I was introduced to in the labor prep class and was told to not even sniff it because it could induce labor. Well, the night I received my Clary Sage oil was a Thursday. I had my usual bath of Epsom salt and lavender. My joints were so achy this pregnancy that I was in tears sometimes from about the 5th month on and my lovely midwife informed me of magnesium which does a lot of awesome stuff, but also helps to relieve joint paint, and it sure worked. Epsom salt contains magnesium, btw. I add the Clary Sage oil to my bath and soaked for quite a while. I was ready for my wee-one to come out and felt he was ready too. My body was hurting so bad anyway and I was afraid of tearing like I had experienced the first time around so I didn't want him getting any bigger before he came out. The next morning I woke up at 8 a.m. with labor pains. From then on it was the waiting game where the contractions started slowing down. I would try to rest, then try to walk, and keep things moving along. By the evening I was getting so discouraged thinking the contractions would go away altogether, but I kept sniffing the Clary Sage oil at different intervals and then Lavender to help relax myself, and the contractions were super strong after sniffing the Clary Sage. I was also warned by my midwives that the second time around I should expect a shorter labor time with more intense contractions. Boy were they!!!

     By 8 o'clock that night, I had my husband get some rest to prepare for whenever the real labor would actually come. I think I lasted until after midnight before I woke him. It hurt so much and was much more intense than when I was pregnant the first time. It took all I had to get through each contraction. I spent a lot of the time in labor in the shower, sniffing my lavender, timing contractions, hoping and praying it would be over soon. They were like mind-numbing. I never understood that term until my second time in labor. Whew! So, after talking to the midwife and getting her input, she wanted me to wait longer until they were stronger and closer together. When it got to that point it seemed like it was truly the point of no return and my baby was ready to get out. It was so quick after that. About 2:30 we gather everything and everyone. 3 ish we are driving to Naples (about a 35 min. drive) with me on my knees facing backwards in the driver's seat because of the intense contractions. We get there about 3:30 I think and I am hoping we make it on time because I just had this fear of not making it to the birth center to have my baby, or something going wrong.

     There were about 3 other moms in labor with me that night. We got taken to our room and immediately I was hit with more contractions. I barely had time to do anything or say anything between them except to motion for my husband to come over and help. The only thing that really helped me through, and we learned this technique through the labor prep class, was me on my knees holding a pillow or the birthing ball and him using both hands with all his force to press down on my lower back, and his poor arms were shaking with how hard he would press. It was truly labor for him also. The contractions were maddening and nothing really alleviated it. I barely had time to sniff my lavender before another would come on. I did ask for a mild pain reliever, but they didn't offer any and cautioned about how any pain reliever might slow down the labor and delivery process, so I had peace with that despite the intensity that I was not prepared for.

     I so wanted a water birth, but that didn't happen for two reasons. One, was because we did not get the room we originally wanted and for some strange reason the jets in that tub were not in the oval parts, but on the sides, thus I had to sit in the narrow part with my big belly during contractions to have the jets on me. It was not comfortable. The second reason was that I was only 90% effaced.

    By the time I really felt the pressure and knew my baby was ready whether I was fully effaced or not, I was in bed on my back begging my midwife to break my water because the pressure was so intense and I was ready to fully push. Both times in pregnancy my water had to be manually broken (It doesn't hurt, by the way, just pressure and like a little pinch). My sweet husband was holding my hand through it, getting me water to drink or wetting my head with a cold washcloth.

     The thing I loved about my midwives and the family-type setting they provide, is that there is nothing much more intimate than having your midwife manually holding back the part of your cervix that is blocking the way for the baby to come out while you push. Seriously. I was grateful to have already gotten to know them so well and feel comfortable with them. Otherwise, that would have really stunk to have to trust someone that much in that awkward of a position whom I had just met.

     Moving on, my water was broke, my midwife was holding open my cervix so my sweet baby could come through and I was so exhausted. I was afraid of tearing so I asked my midwife for advice on a better position and she recommended getting on my knees on the bed and facing the wall with my back towards them while I held onto a pillow. That was how I had my baby and so much better than lying on my back going against gravity and my body's design. I pushed hard and felt my baby moving down the canal. What an amazing moment that was. Scary, exciting, super-emotional, and like on the last leg of the race. I was afraid to push because I was so afraid of tearing (had fourth degree tears my first pregnancy and was basically ripped apart, to shreds, from the inside out due to the idiocy of them giving my Pitocin when I was already pushing my son out), but I knew it had to be done so I prayed and prepared myself and pushed. Down my baby came. My husband was about to leave to get me another rag with more ice, but they warned him not to leave, and a good thing too. I was ready for my baby to come out and I was the one in control of it. I felt him in my birth canal so I just bore down and pushed and pushed and pushed until the head came out, and then the hardest part of pushing those broad shoulders out, but I knew once the shoulders were out then the rest would be easy, and it was. I felt my body opening up for him and I felt when the resistance gave way and his little body, and the other stuff, all came sliding out. I heard my midwives excitement and knew my boy was safely out. I turned around to look and there was this bloody, messy, beautiful little creature. I'm getting emotional thinking about it now.

     If I was under the influence of an epidural, or any of the other numbing drugs, sure I would not have felt the intense pain, but I wouldn't have felt the beautiful moments either. I wouldn't have been the one on control of my body pushing out his, feeling every bit of it, the parts that didn't hurt, but were truly an experience. I think having a drug-free and all natural birth helped me to cherish my baby more and bond with him. That is something that mother's with epidurals, C-sections, and other drugs are robbed of and I am so grateful I "pushed" through and did it the way God intended and I knew in my heart was right. I will say, it was AMAZING to be able to eat what I wanted when I wanted after I gave birth and not be given crummy hospital food. It was AMAZING to be able to choose not to give my sweet boy shots or be taken away from me to be bathed and poked and prodded. They treasure those moments with mom, dad, and baby's first moments outside the womb. My baby lay on me with cord still attached for quite some time, until I said I was ready. They did not wash or scrub him as baby is naturally coated with things that are healthy to his skin. So, he went home with a little blood on him and I used a wipe to clean him off later, amazed that the majority had just absorbed into his skin and it was super smooth and not waxy or weird like my first son's.
     It was AMAZING to have the private time after birth to just focus on myself and my sweet baby and recover from that huge experience. It truly is labor. I was physically and emotionally exhausted and so grateful I hadn't caved to the pressures of family and had that time set apart for just me, my husband, oldest son, and baby. I was in pain too. I did have one small tear, but my midwife did an amazing job with stitching me back up and also soothing my fears. She was a great comfort to me, especially with her soothing, calm ways. She had a wonderful bedside manner and I trusted her completely. They were friends, not just people getting paid. It was amazing that I got to choose the what, when, and how's of things. It was AMAZING being able to get up and leave at 1 ish in the afternoon after giving birth that morning and be back home within twelve hours of when we first left, spending the night in my own bed and the comfort of my own home, not confined to a hospital bed, doctor's orders, nasty food, stupid rules, or being attached to a painful I.V. "just in case" that hindered me from fully holding my baby. It was done my way, and that is how every single birth experience should be done. Mother's are not stupid. We know our bodies better than any doctor or anyone else can tell us. We have an instinct that we have been bullied into mistrusting with the use of fear tactics and misinformation on top of being made to feel ignorant and inferior to these 'high-quality educations." Blech. I will move on so it doesn't turn into a rant on how much I loathe the hospital/medical system...

     We brought our own food to the birth center and had full use of the microwave and fridge. My oldest son sat in the front waiting room with his tablet watching movies and reading magazines and they were perfectly fine with that. We all felt safe, secure, and free to focus on the beauty of childbirth. My baby wasn't ripped from me by uncaring and harsh nurses to be forcefully scrubbed and prodded. He was gently and lovingly cared for by mother's and treasured by them also, delighting in him just like me, his own mother. It was not a clinical, sterile, cold room full of people getting paid, but filled with mother's who genuinely loved what they do and loved the babies, and mamas, they took care of.

     I had a birth playlist going the whole time on my computer and it was so calming and relaxing afterwards. The assistant helped me go to the bathroom and took care of me each time. She didn't rush me, wasn't harsh, she was gentle and caring, soothing. I honestly couldn't ask for a better experience and if I ever get pregnant again, will without hesitation go back to them.
Oh, and I was also able to walk out of the birth center on my own without having to be wheeled out by a nurse. Awesome!!! I wasn't treated like an invalid or some sick person, but a beautiful healthy mother who just underwent a beautiful and natural healthy process. They even took our picture as a family to place on their wall and create a birth announcement that is shared on their walls.

     I want to share this because I see that so many women are simply uneducated about the options available and that there is so much stigma and fear tactics whenever we do things "out of the box," but let's just remember that women have given birth naturally since the beginning of time and we seem to be doing okay. ;-) Hospitals are not the only options. We mothers DO have choices regarding what to do with our bodies, our pregnancy, our birth, and our precious babies. Don't let anyone strip that right away from you or make you afraid to follow your gut with a natural birth.


~ Until next time...

P.S. Please forgive any spelling/grammar errors. My mind is a fog of exhaustion right now. ;-)