One of the biggest arguments and concerns I hear from would-be parents is how having a child costs too much and they can't afford it. Well, here are my thoughts gleaned from experience on that.
With my first child, I was quickly turned into a single mother who didn't have money to start with and was not able to come by much after my son was born. What I learned from back then are THREE important things:
1. God ALWAYS provides what we NEED
2. We do not need as much as we THINK we do
3. Many of the necessities can be acquired for little to NOTHING
Every time my son would get to the point where he was getting too big for his clothes and I would start to worry about how to get enough money to get him the bigger sizes, someone would come along and bless me EACH TIME with GARBAGE BAGS and boxes FULL of clothes, all given to me for FREE. EACH TIME!!! Seriously. It was like Christmas for me each time. I would sit with the piles of clothes around me, and shoes and socks too, going through it while crying tears of joy, gratitude, and awe, and wound up having TOO MUCH. It was amazing. At every stage when I was a single mom that would happen. I saw the consistency of God's pattern at how He was blessing us and providing for us. One time was from a best friend, twice from a co-worker of my mother, one was from a neighbor that gave us 2-3 garbage bags FULL right before we moved out of that house, and the last time was from a good friend from church who gave us PILES of clothes that we had strewn out all across the living room as we sorted. It was amazing! Now, I realize this won't happen all the time with a child, BUT people are typically ready to get rid of old things for free or next-to nothing especially when they know you and there old things will go to a good place.
Tip #1: ASK your friends and circle of acquaintances for any old baby/child things they may have that they want to get rid of. Don't be afraid to express a need. Look out for friends that are getting rid of stuff too.
- We were able to buy a bouncer that normally would run $75+ in the stores for only $15 from a Facebook friend who was getting rid of baby things. We also got a carrier and Pack N' Play play mat that costs $40 TOTAL (including the bouncer!) when the carrier alone costs about $40 in the stores.
- I also have two family members who offered to give me baby things they no longer need, some of which include; a crib, walker, and high chair. All of the BIG things we needed. We were even blessed at our baby shower to be given an infant car seat which was the last of the BIG items we needed. So, apart from our glider we purchased brand new, which was bought with Christmas money we received, we had to pay for NONE of the big items we needed.
Tip #2: REUSE
- One of the greatest tips I can impart is to invest in reusable items rather than disposable. With disposable you are literally throwing your money away. I could not afford with my first child to do cloth diapering because I could not afford the upfront cost. I wish I had! With our current child, thankfully I am better prepared. I bought about half of what we would need for our baby and am waiting on deals to buy the rest. I did the math. Cloth diapers cost roughly $300 for the whole bit. Disposable diapers cost about $25 a box and about $75 a month, then there are wipes to consider too. We will use washcloths for pee and disposable for the other. So, within the first year alone you get the investment of cloth diapering back. So, for about $300 we have all the diapers our baby will need from newborn to potty-training! I think that is amazing. Also, they can be re-used for future babies. How awesome is that?!
Tip#3: RESEARCH
- Utilize the internet to shop around and price check for the greatest deals. Regarding the cloth diapers, I was recommended Fuzzi Buns by one relative and Just Simply Baby by another. I looked at both. Fuzzi Buns was more expensive per item and was sized, so I would have to purchase a new set of diapers as my baby grew, adding to the expenses. With Just Simply Baby, they are One Size Fits All. They diapers have snaps that can be adjusted as my baby grows so all I have to do is make a ONE-TIME investment, that were cheaper than Fuzzi Buns, and my baby is set.
Tip #4: DEALS
- Planning ahead and using self-control enables one to wait for the best deals. For instance, just today I received an email from Just Simply Baby that their inserts are BOGO for today only. I have been waiting for a deal like this to get more supplies. So, I just purchased, with a VISA gift card I got for my baby shower, 14 inserts that would have run $36 plus $5 shipping for only $23 TOTAL. Less than $2 per insert, and it actually cost me nothing out of my budget thanks to using the Gift Card. Save those gift cards for deals like this! Now, all I have to do is wait for some good cloth diaper deals and my baby is totally set.
- Sign up for the emails associated with brands or items you need and wait for those deals to come by.
*UPDATE - Shortly after I wrote this blog, I got another email from Just Simply Baby that cloth diapers were 40% off!!! That was the deal I had been waiting for so I snagged them. I got 7 diapers to add to our collection. I now have 14 which is enough to get by for at least one day, possibly a day and a half. I will wait for another deal to come around to get 7 or so more so that would give me about a 2 day supply of clean cloth diapers before having to wash. I emphasize again to WAIT for the deals to come around. Get only the basics of what you need and then wait for the rest in order to save some money.
*UPDATE - Shortly after I wrote this blog, I got another email from Just Simply Baby that cloth diapers were 40% off!!! That was the deal I had been waiting for so I snagged them. I got 7 diapers to add to our collection. I now have 14 which is enough to get by for at least one day, possibly a day and a half. I will wait for another deal to come around to get 7 or so more so that would give me about a 2 day supply of clean cloth diapers before having to wash. I emphasize again to WAIT for the deals to come around. Get only the basics of what you need and then wait for the rest in order to save some money.
Tip#5: BUY USED
- I seriously don't understand the stigma associated with buying things from thrift stores or from yard sales. Seriously. Just Lysol the items or wipe things down with Clorox wipes, just like from any other store, and it's all good. For $25 you can get an entire new collection of baby things. I would get books and movies for my son for 3 for $1 at our local thrift store. Clothes are about $1-2. I recently got shoes for about $5 for him. They outgrow clothes and particularly shoes SO FAST, so that is wasted money to me. I do invest in one good pair of walking/hiking shoes and one good pair of dress shoes for church, but other than that, thrift store and flip flops it is. My son doesn't care. I don't spoil him or teach him to be materialistic or to keep up with the other kids. I teach him to be grateful for what he gets, and he is. I let him pick out the clothes, and that is exciting for him. He doesn't care where it comes from. Don't create a spoiled monster and you'll save a lot more money that way too.
Tip#6: INVEST WISELY
- Invest money in things that can be used long-term or will reap the most benefits out of it.
I homeschool my son, so I apply that to any homeschool resources. What program will reap the most benefits for his education? Can I reuse the materials when the baby gets older? There are a few programs I invest in for his education and childhood. We have a science museum with a Homeschool program and our fortunate enough to have the Thomas Edison and Henry Ford Estates nearby that offer amazing science homeschool programs. Those are worthy investments to me as my son gets a lot out of it, has a lot of fun, and gets a different teaching than what he would get from me. I also have him participate in one Theater class a year, whether during season or for summer camp. Also worthy investments as it is adding to his skills, experience, and making happy memories along the way. The same goes for toys. I will not buy cheap toys for him. I will buy books and toys that can last a good while, be reused with his younger sibling, and won't break or get destroyed easily. Why throw money down the drain?
- Also, utilize FREE RESOURCES. The library is perfect for getting new books and DVD's that do not have to clutter up the home. We also utilize the free kid's workshops at Lowe's and Home Depot once a month where kids get their own apron, goggles, pins or badges, among other things, and get to build their own kit for free. My son has learned building skills, the pride of a job done himself, and is valuable bonding time between parent and child. Search for free programs and activities in your area. You might be surprised what is out there.
Tip #7: LEARN FROM HISTORY
- Our ancestors did not have a Babies 'R Us around the corner, or stores where they could buy and fill their child's room with toys and things. They had the necessities. They whittled their own toys out of wood. They crocheted their own blankets. They didn't have excess. They lived simply. We spoil our children. Seriously. How many blankets does your child REALLY need? How many sets of clothes and bows and toys?! We are a bit brainwashed into thinking that happiness and love means having more and giving more to our children, but what it really does is spoil them, teach them love comes from material things, and creates a sense of entitlement within them. Having less items not only helps them to appreciate what they do have MORE, but causes us parents less stress having to either clean up after ALL their belongings ourselves or continuously nag them to pick up after themselves. Less stuff equals less stress!
Tip #8: TEACH THEM
- A concern of my husband's is having to pay for the child's car and college. I quickly reassured him I have no intention to spoil our children. I believe giving handouts to kids is one of the worst things a parent can do. I plan to teach our children the value of hard work, saving, and working towards their own future. I will not raise a spoiled, self-entitled child who comes to their parents each time they want something with their hands held out for money. I will teach them to work for themselves and invest in their OWN future, their own vehicles, their own college, their own homes. The same goes for their future wedding. I'm not saying we won't contribute something to them, but we WILL NOT contribute ALL. Any money we give our kids in the future is a GIFT not a REQUIREMENT. I plan on opening a savings account for my son when he is 13, and a checking account once he gets a job, then carefully monitoring and advising him with his savings, teaching him how to budget, invest in his future, etc. I will teach my children carpentry and home improvement skills so they can apply that to their future home. I will teach them as much as I can NOW to help ensure their success in the FUTURE, hopefully saving money for not just us parents, but for our children as well. Also, we will open a savings account strictly for college and a separate one for a vehicle as well. Then, our children can add to each account as they see fit over the years. If they start now, they will have a good head start by the time they actually need that money.
So, there are a few of my tips and things I have learned over the years. Don't buy into the media ads and other parents that tell you that you aren't a good parent if you don't give your child brand new items, the most expensive, or have every nook and cranny of their rooms filled with things. Love them. That is free. Read to them, show them they are valued, play games with them, teach them hard work and sacrifice and the joy of earning money and then buying their own things that they want. You will be investing in a much better them and you might be able to breathe easier in the process. Next time someone tells you kids cost too much, just look at them like this,
then kindly explain to them what you have learned from an experienced mom.
Happy Parenting,
~ The Starving Artist ~
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